The Mother-Daughter In-Law Dance

I’m a mother in-law “in waiting”. And as much as I don’t want it to be an anxious feeling, it is. Mi hijo, found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Heavy sigh, cómo van a cambiar las cosas. Change is good Rosie. Sabes? They’re a good looking couple. She captured his heart and they are now an engaged couple

.…Y ahora que? Well, I’ve got my ticket to board that wedding planning roller coaster ride, suddenly, time is upon us. When they give the green light for all of us to jump in and help plan, we will. Apurate hijo! Ben said, “Wow! It’s been 10 years since our last weddings” Hijole

When You Know That You Know

Once a couple” knows,” you would think that everyone would just smoothly adjust to their sweet love and choices. Usually a couple gets giddy with fairy tales happily ever after dreams and they walk into their “revelation” expecting everyone to come for the ride. Pero pues, it’s a mixture of emotions for anyone securely connected. Emotions need to be worked out and checked as the couple prepares for their destiny.

While I’m waiting for my wedding planning assignements, come with me as I walk through some days of my early engagement days, before the wedding planning: 

Comprometida! 

Ben and I got engaged and went to share the wonderful news with my parents. No wedding plans in mind, just the realization that we would always be one. “Hijole!” My apa said to my gringo fiancee, as he put our arms next to each other “ Do you see what color she is?” I had already crossed that hurdle. It was a pretty hard hurdle to jump, es que, I was nervous. I was scared to death about marrying outside of mi gente, but after 2 years of praying and my Benjamin waiting somewhat patiently, I knew that I knew that God was for a Greene/Zepeda union so I said yes, yes, yes to his proposal. My apa’s question made me nervous but Ben, the man of few words, said “Yes, I do and I like it.” My apa watched us through the years and saw the steady man his son in-law was and he was relieved that our skin color truly didn’t matter to either of us. 

In that same visit, I look back and thank God for mi ama, who didn’t ask what the plan was, who didn’t fret just then about my wedding day. Primero, she needed to see how this young man would handle a strong Latina woman. She did as was her custom, and invited him to the table for a meal and when Ben sat down to eat she served him. He enjoyed his food, and she watched as she heated las tortillas. Maybe he was alright, at least he knew not to reject her. She offered seconds, and my flaco hungrily said yes! And that was enough, my ama liked my gringo.

For most of our engagement I was alone. Esperate! Ben didn’t ask me to marry him and ignore me. Es que, he was also committed to the U.S. Navy, so my sailor went out to sea. As a newly engaged girl I was a mess! Lonely for my Benjamin and not sure what direction to go as far as getting ready for my wedding day. My maid of honor set me straight when she could no longer watch me go in circles. Thank God for maid of honors, they are your confidants, your helpers, your doers in that busy season.

Ben had already told his mother about his Mexican-American girlfriend, so very soon after we were engaged and I was sad about Ben being away, I received a letter from my future suegra. My husband takes after her, he displays little, muy poquita emoción!  Her letter calmly welcomed me into her family and she said she looked forward to meeting me! Hijole! How do you respond to that? All kinds of questions came up in my head. What would she think? Did she know, like really know that I was brown? Ben had asked me if I would write a letter to her and he also asked if I would send a picture of myself! But I hadn’t, I just couldn’t, then I got her letter. Now I had to respond. I needed to rush and get a picture taken. In those days, we had to go to the photo studio, so Colleen, my bestie, my maid of honor suggested that I wear a nice bright shirt, a pink one! She assured me that it complimented my nice coloring. Que?! Sheesh, I had it all wrong then.

I got through the very difficult first letter just in time to start my wedding planning and started a nice letter writing friendship with my suegra to be. 

En Conclusion:
As I’m remembering these days of my engagement, I think of Emerys sweet girl and pray that God will help me to be a blessing to her now, before the wedding day. Y que Dios me los bendiga as they plan, on that day and all the days of their marriage journey.

A Wife For Emery

Hijole! My son is engaged. He turns 25 and mira lo que pasa.

The Engagement time can be intense. I think my family, as in my kids, are  looking at me and wondering how I’m doing? Pero mira, I’ve been there and done that, this time it’ll be easy peasy.

I mean, it’s not like I’m losing my son verdad? Just keep reminding yourself of that Rosalba and you’ll stay on the Gods straight and narrow. 

My first two engagement seasons were rough. Heck! Just having my kids enter adulthood at 18 rocked my world. My first born moved out at 19 and I cried…and I cried for several weeks. Daniella had to remind me that I had 3 more kids to raise, que verguenza, sorri Daniella y gracias, you were very brave and patient with your strong latina mother. Mi hija wasn’t 18 and she was being noticed as  good marriage stock! What fear entered my world during those days. Ten years as a mother-inlaw has matured me 😀 I hope, well, I’m praying for sure.

Before Mo

Almost from the time that Emery put on the adult hoodie he changed and rearranged things, without asking my permission! Atrevido! Suddenly he was Ben, que? That name; Benjamin Emery Greene was supposed to be used silently, like in signatures and applications, I thought he knew that. Then he moved out to semi independence. He went to live with his newly wed primo! Thankfully it was a wonderful experience and it strengthened the chords of friendship for all three of them.  

He enjoyed his singleness and maximized as much as he could afford to do all that his heart desired, within the boundaries of his born-again boundaries. But the desire for marriage stirred always in his heart.

2020 

After our January bible conference in 2020 mi hijo called me, he had a specific prayer request, and that was “Ma pray with me to find a wife” Obviously it wasn’t just any girl, it was one that was equally yoked and then his list of “desires in a woman” I guess some people were telling him he was being too picky. Huh? Is it possible to be too picky in choosing or finding a lifelong partner? Is it foolish to search but wait on God? And when you think you’ve found the one for you, is it silly to expect the change of heart rate just by their presence? 

So we brought our very specific petition to God, not just him and I, but the family agreed with him. While he prayed he sought with eyes wide open and God answered our prayer.

En conclusion:

God has given me so much pleasure and increase as a mother of these Greene kids. With all my heart I congratulate my Emery and welcome his Mo into our lives and hearts. Que Dios los bendiga And may His will continue first in your lives. 

Thank you to Monique Prado @embracethedetour for these beautiful photos.