Chapters In A Marriage

This past week I went to spend some time with my sister. It was a much needed visit. While we chatted and caught up, we worked and organized her work room. It turned out to be a bittersweet time as I remembered and revisited experiences and chapters in our lives through the old pictures I was gathering and storing. One particular time that kept pulling me back was my first chapter of marriage and my amas last one. As I am now unofficially an Empty Nester and my own marriage has passed their 34 year union, I take my hat off to my sweet ama. She did not live for herself and I love her for her sacrifice.

 My parents were married for 34 years. Espero que no sea falta de respeto, to their marriage covenant to say that along with joys and victories came many kinds of trials and heartaches as they worked out their marriage relationship and fought to keep their family intact. 

My ama endured the needed separation when apa left her and their baby to come to el Norte to make money. Although he left her in good hands, her big brother, I can only imagine what it must have been like for her. The lonely long nights wondering what life was like for him, he liked America. He returned, and their marriage, family and life resumed as usual, until the funds ran out again. Making enough money in poverty stricken Mexico was near impossible. Apa worked hard to make ends meet before he proposed to leave again. Pero esta vez, he would not  leave without his family. 

My ama was broken-hearted when she separated from her family and familiar comforts of her small town in Jalisco, but she endured and was comforted as her family increased. She settled in Baja California, it was different, pero it was still Mexico. My apa crossed the border weekly to work. Again, their marriage suffered these financial separations, he had to support his growing family, pero un dia, the opportunity to immigrate them came, y de repente, paperwork complete, they were living in America. 

La familia Zepeda was suddenly an immigrant family. Everyone, adults and kids were feeling their way around, enduring the many shocks of cultural differences and social scorn.  My dear ama endured it all, now the physical separations in her marriage would come to an end. She kept true to her marriage covenant, birthed 2 more babies and they adjusted their lives and marriage with the many challenges that came their way. Together they raised their 8 kids. Ama struggled to learn English, then stopped trying, “No hablo ingles.” Spanish was our official language at home and English was to be translated when she needed it, after all, she had 9 translators at her reach. 

The “Empty Nester” chapter of their marriage fue muy dificil for my ama. She had been having an ongoing battle with diabetes and now she was depressed and very lonely. Her nest was empty.  Adult children tienen el discaro to flaunt their “independence” as they are finding their own way. If you’re a wife and mother, ya saben how it is most times, much of your married life is shared with the kids. Luego, when the children leave, a couple will have to “find” each other again. Spunk might be gone, vitality depleted and beauty is in the past. It can be awkward to get back to just your spouse. My apa was still busy with work, he hadn’t paid attention yet. 

I was one of the last ones to leave home and I was having all kinds of radical changes in my life. As my ama faced her empty nest marriage, not in very good health, I was preparing to step into my own marriage nest. I was busy preparing my simple wedding  to pay any real attention to her needs, until everything stopped because she had a stroke. Toda la familia gathered at the hospital, anxious for ama. When she was stable and resting, we went in to see her, the stroke had changed her. 

We didn’t know what her prognosis would be.  Then, the doctor said, she would be sent to San Diego for physical therapy. He explained that there she would be on a strict diet and get physical therapy that would help her to walk and speak and improve her.  She was scheduled to be sent at the end of the month.

As the days passed, my wedding date was fast approaching, it was set for the end of the month, the invitations were out, the guests had confirmed, everything had been planned already, y ahora  mi ama would not be able to attend my wedding. I had faced that kind of disappointment at my last major ceremony already. She had been in the hospital when I graduated high school, was it really happening again? my ama would miss my day? Should I postpone my wedding? And for how long? It was a confusing time. My ama was sad for me, for herself. My Benjamin was nervous, it had taken me “an eternity” to be sure that our mixed union was the right thing to do and now I was considering postponing? 

My parents talked to me, well mostly my apa spoke and ama spoke with her eyes. She was so very sorry to miss my wedding day but it must go on as planned. They could not guarantee what the future held for them, they had already lived and they wanted me to go on and live too. They hoped that time would give them a chance to get to know Ben and they looked forward to me bringing him home again. They assured me that it was the best and right thing to do. I cannot describe all that I felt that day in her hospital room. Ama couldn’t reach for me, so I touched her. I was a selfish daughter. I was a bridezilla. Why God? Why did ama have to miss my wedding day? Ben and I were married and after the reception we came to see my ama. I wish I knew what she was thinking. Did she remember her wedding day? Did she think my gringo was handsome? Now I wish we could have talked. I was torn between being wife now, yet still a daughter. We took a few pictures, and then we left her. 

En Conclusion:
I was able to spend my days at the rehabilitation hospital, keeping my ama company. I watched her work herself back to walking and talking and cheered her on. She was anxious to get back home. Ama had improved so well that she was allowed to come to my own nest and lunch with us. I made her favorite dish; caldo de res. I loved her caldo and I hoped I had copied her well enough, hijole! I was nervous. She was coming to mi casa and having my cooking, what would she think? It was her only visit to my little apartment. As I wrote that sentence the reality struck me! My ama came to visit me. She saw me as a woman, Ben’s wife and our home. That thought makes me smile, even though it was just once.  She enjoyed lunch and a short visit, then it was back to the rehab. Very soon after that day she completed her physical therapy and was discharged. My dad had gotten all the instructions he needed to be her main caregiver. He would be home with her and care for her. Y pues, I’m glad for my ama, apa was at her side.The empty nest brought on many tears and apa did what he could for her. She yearned for her house to be full again with her children and grandchildren, and when it was, muy culeca, she rejoiced. Y cuando it was empty again, apa was there with her, and together they endured. Gracias a Dios.

Easter Traditions

Easter is a holiday celebration about the resurrection of Jesus Christ our Lord. After a bloody tormenting crucifixion and death at the hands of the Roman soldiers, he was buried. Pero after 3 days, he rose out of the grave. Jesus is alive! Debería de ser el dia mas importante en el calendario for every believer, but is it? Honestamente, since its official date changes with the moon cycle, I have to ask when is Easter? Por si no lo sabes, Easter is on March 31 this year. I don’t actually have a “season of preparing” for Easter. As a born-again follower of Christ, the resurrection is a fixed truth in my mind. Jesus did warn us that trials and temptations would be ever present while we journey on this road called earth. So pretty often, like todo los dias, I’m repenting of sin that wants to stick to me. There are days of “subduing the flesh” through fasting and prayer. Y por supuesto, todo los dias, Jesus knocks at the door of my heart, maybe more than once a day y pues I’ve got to have a listening heart. I want to sup with him. The resurrected Christ has changed my life and I thank God for all his benefits. Now I appreciate and enjoy Easter Celebration.

People celebrate Easter in different ways, the Resurrection isn’t always a part of the celebration or at least not the major focus. In our house, Easter was a solemn affair. Lent season and praying the rosary was a solemn affair, then came Easter Sunday mass and capirotada.

Mi ama observed the Lent season and so did we, sort of. Sabes lo que es? It is a Catholic tradition which kicks off on Ash Wednesday. La cuarentena is a 40 day season of fasting from meat on Fridays, and praying the rosary. Lent season was a definite time of sacrifice for me. Durante los dias de cuarentena, fish is a permissible meat on Fridays, asi es que, in our home we almost always had a “fish ” meal on Fridays. Hijole, the smell of fish and much less the taste of it, is one food I do not like, to put it nicely. Ya se ya se, all the seafood lovers are shocked and maybe disappointed for me. It seemed like every Friday at school, the menu had hamburgers on it. Y por su puesto it is in our human nature to want what we are told we cannot have. Sometimes, knowing that the cafeteria was going to be a great temptation, I didn’t even bother to go although I could have eaten something with no meat for lunch. I mean why bother eating if I couldn’t have meat? On those days my walk home from school would be extra hard since I was hungry and then opening the door and being hit with the smell of shrimp patties in a tomato based chile sauce was almost too much for me. A nice quesadilla or cheese tamale would have helped me finish my Friday sacrifice. Aveces, on Fridays during Lent I would say, I’m gonna go to the cafeteria to eat, the little white angel on my shoulder whispered “don’t do it” and I would argue, I just won’t eat the meat. Have you had a meatless, pattiless burger? Two buns with meat juices on them and ketchup, now that I think of it, maybe that was cheating on the fast? Honestamente, most times if I went to la cafeteria, a red little devil on my shoulder was hissing “do it! Just do it!” I would succumb and scarf down my hamburger. Was it enough that I was feeling pretty guilty?

Now about the rosary time, that too was a great sacrifice. Ask a kid to walk away from the t.v.?! give up their screen time to pray? Hijole! My little brother always got in trouble for not wanting to obey or messing around during the rosary time. We knew when to respond and which prayer to recite, pero, mostly we wanted ama to hurry. Quizas it was just a few minutes, but my goodness we acted as if a week had passed while we were separated from the “outside world”. Would Lent ever end?

When the season would finally end, we went to Easter Sunday mass. Most Sundays we went en la tarde, it was the Spanish mass. Pero on special occasions we went on Sunday mornings. On Easter Sunday, little girls dressed in their frilly dresses were everywhere. They carried not only their accessories, purse and hat, but an easter basket. They looked so uncomfortable, behaving so properly. I was a bit of a tomboy and I didn’t care for dresses. I wondered why they wanted to put themselves through such discomfort? They weren’t allowed to play too hard for fear of losing their easter hats and their moms worried que se iban a ensuciar. Pobrecitas, pero they wanted to look so cute and pretty.

Then there’s the tradition of capirotada at Easter. I love that my memory has captured the images of my ama working in the kitchen layering carefully the assorted pieces into the huge pot for capirotada. She melted piloncillo (my ama called it panocha) and poured it over the layers. Capirotada has so many sweet and salty ingredients, it’s an interesting dessert, from what I remember it is a lot of work and time involved in the process. As weird as it looked, I liked it, the sweet scents mingled with the salty nuts, it was quite yummy. Y ahora I look out for it at Easter time, it’s a beautiful reminder of my ama and the traditions she brought along with her from her hometown in Etzatlan, Jalisco.

En Conclusíon:

My Easter celebration is a bit different today. Now I do enjoy seeing the little girls in their pretty Easter dresses, especially mis nietas. We gather as a family and with friends to feast in a grand fashion. Y por supuesto, the Easter egg hunts are always a great deal of fun. Pero, the most important part of Easter, is communion. Since now I only do it once a year I make sure to stop and partake of this sacrament. It is a remembrance of the sacrifice on the cross, a time of renewing my vows to Jesus and appreciating God for the gift of his Son. Whatever your traditions are at Easter, acuerdense God has given us much and a grateful heart es un corazon muy tierno. Que Dios los bendiga y disfruten sus días de Pascuas.

Happy Valentines Day

Feliz dia del Amor y Amistad, A brief moment of confession, it’s good for the soul. This week I’m not sure if I made an intentional or intentional choice to NOT make a big deal for Valentines Day. Miren asi paso,

I put all our busyness on the table and “other” concerns and said, it’s too much,  I’m not gonna feel the “pressure” of public displays of affection on Valentines Day. I’m gonna love my amores  like I always do. Pero the past two days have been all about Valentines Day. Giving cards, candy, flowers. kids give valentine greetings and candy to all classmates because etiquette demands, mis nietos wondered, “why do I have to give her a valentine!?) to friends, porque el amor de una verdadera amiga is priceless. Mi amiga querida sent me this song a couple of days ago, “Thank You For Being A Friend”   It made my day! And I loved her more!

Lyrics

Thank you for being a friend

Traveled down a road and back again

Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant

I’m not ashamed to say

I hope it always will stay this way

My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow

And if you threw a party

Invited everyone you knew

Well, you would see the biggest gift would be from me

And the card attached would say

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend

If it’s a car you lack

I’d surely buy you a Cadillac

Whatever you need, any time of the day or night

I’m not ashamed to say

I hope it always will stay this way

My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow

And when we both get older

With walking canes and hair of gray

Have no fear, even though it’s hard to hear

I will stand real close and say

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Let me tell you ’bout a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

And when we die and float away

Into the night, the Milky Way

You’ll hear me call as we ascend

I’ll see you there, then once again

Thank you for being a

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend

People, let me tell you ’bout a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Thank you for being a friend

Whoa, tell you ’bout a friend (let me thank you right now for being a friend)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna tell you ’bout a pal and I’ll tell you again)

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you, thank you)

Thank you for being a friend

Source: LyricFind.  Songwriters: Andrew M Gold. Thank You for Being a Friend lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Bien bonita verdad?!

Ayer, mis nietas were busy little bees writing out their “Valentine cards and adding candy to their sweet words. Neveah, asked me a few times “D’ma, how many hours until tomorrow?”  and I forgot that tomorrow was a big day; El dia de San Valentin!  So I responded “Just count the hours.”  She said “ I don’t think I’ll even sleep tonight. I get so excited about holidays!” Then I remembered, hijole! Luego, I felt a twinge of not wanting to acknowledge the day we celebrate Love! Esperense, it’s not that I didn’t want to acknowledge, it’s that I didn’t feel like doing the work of displaying my love. Ya se, Ya se. 

Esta mañana, I got up confident that coffee would be ready, y asi fue, Ben makes the best coffee. All the Mexicanas in my generation and before are reeling at the thought that I didn’t prepare his coffee, hijole! Anyways… sitting on my counter was a sweet bouquet of flowers and a plant from my Valentine, my flaco has been really busy with work and many life circumstances pero he wanted me to know that Valentines Day es para los enamorados.  Y un rato despues, mi hijo Emery, stopped by before going to work to drop off a Valentine gift for me. Hijole otra vez! Flowers from my lil Ben, Oh how I loved him for thinking of his ma, you know he’s a newly wed?! I went back to my room after several interruptions, the early morning was almost gone. I sat down and said to God “It’s too late to pray now” and immediately I felt God’s response “ It’s not too late, it’s never too late, I’m always ready to listen to you” Oh my goodness! Me puse a chillar! The God of all creation wanted to sup with me! What a wonderful Valentines gift and I felt his love and appreciated Valentines day even more. Finalmente, to close out my morning, I had run out to help my hijo, an unexpected need he had and while I was gone, my first born had dropped in. Jonathan came by and I was told that he came in expecting to be the first to bring a Valentine gift for his ma. I was floored that he too with all his busyness-he’s leaving to Bolivia in less than a month and he’s over his head busy- pero se acordo de su madre!

 I’ve been en las nubes all morning this Valentines Day. Aveces Valentines Day will draw out sadness, pero, on this post I want to focus on all the love I’ve felt all around me. All morning I’ve been receiving sweet valentine texts.  Today Valentines Day 2024, el dia del amor has been a morning filled with love and appreciation. Mil gracias a mis amores for displaying your love to me. Que Dios Los Bendiga en este dia. 

How To Enjoy A True Love Story

 Ahora mismo, I’m making an intentional turn. Happy February! There are plenty of February special occasions to remember, to fill my mind and keep me busy. Es que, as the days for the Bolivia transition inch closer, I’ve been thinking, talking, sleeping, not sleeping and blogging about my son’s missionary journey/commitment. it’s been pretty difficult to not think of all the needs for the move and all the changes and all the empty spaces…

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us. Love is in the air. I love my family, my sons family, mis cinco nietas y nietos. Hijole! Focus Rosie. Valentine’s Day highlights lovers. Y pues, I always enjoy hearing or reading stories of how lovers met and courted, bien romantica, well I like to think so, a veces I do have to stretch my imagination to see the romantic moments. 

I’ll share my apas account of meeting and courting my mother. It’s a reality love story, he offered very little embellishment, giving me only the practical information, pero I managed to pull a couple of sweet things from his memory. 

De Repente, my apa in his tercera edad, past 80 years old, was telling me all kinds of stories during my caregiving days with him, everything he shared I wrote down to share with Marina, my sister and caregiving partner. Un dia, I was pleasantly surprised to know that ama was on his mind. 

Honestamente, I can’t even imagine my parents cómo enamorados. Manuel y Maria de Jesus’  life-long partners, parents, immigrants,and providers were once a picture of youth, virtue and heart throbbing love. Once upon a time, before the cares of life crowded in on them, they dreamed of passionate love and fun.

 De vez en cuando, when our ama was still here with us, she would share a very short clip or name from their courting days,  pero it was never a complete story. Once I saw her wedding dress in her old treasure trunk, I didn’t pay too much attention to the white crumpled dress, it was the dress she was married in and at that moment of my teenage years it did not stir me! Pero ahora, Imaginate, my mothers wedding dress and love story right at my finger tips and I didn’t recognize its value, que lastima. I had to call my sister as I was writing this post. I wanted more details of the dress. The dress would tell some of the story that my apa couldn’t tell. Mi hermana, a die hard romantic, stopped her busyness and as we talked she went to pull the delicate dress out of it’s box. I’d forgotten that it’s in her possession. Together we did a careful inspection of the dress. Time had aged and worn the once white satin dress. Aun asi, my goodness, it was a bittersweet moment as I imagined my ama and her wedding planning state. We studied the high waisted front, which had no embellishment except for a ruffled edge or trim that lined the rounded neck and V-cut back. The dress had a short train, more like a flair in the long skirt. The skirt and bodice in back had nice knitted vertical designs. It had long elegant sleeves. I could tell that it had once been a beautiful dress. Oh my goodness! What an explosion of questions filled my mind. Did her sisters help her get ready? Was her long hair in an updo? Or long and wavy.  What was her make up like? What a pang of regret Marina and I felt as we examined the sweet wedding dress but had no wedding pictures to tell their story. Pero un dia! I was pleasantly surprised by my apas musings and his need to talk about his courting days.

this is the back

Apa: “Rosy, do you remember your mom very well?” (by this point she would have been gone just over 25 years) 

Me: “Si apa, I do remember her pretty well. Porque? Have you forgotten her? (I was relieved to see him shake his head)

Apa: No. I’ve spent a lot of time lately, rolling back the tape (for the newer generation, this would be a cassette tape for recording audio and video memories) and going all the way back to the very early days of my life with her. I even went back to our courting days. 

Finally, I was going to hear their story, or part of it at least. Someday, when I see ama again, I’ll  have to have her fill in the rest of the story. 

 Some backstory. 

Mis papas were from Jalisco Mexico. Mi ama was raised in a town and municipality called Etzatlan, and my apa was raised about 14 miles north in that same Municipality, in a small town called El Amparo. Back in the 1920-1940s when gold and silver abounded in Central Mexico, El Amparo was a thriving little mining town. It was a segregated community of miners and their families, and rich American administrators and company owners. When the resources were almost depleted the owners of the mining company packed up and left. They left the machinery and equipment behind for the miners to take over the business, but the business quickly withered.  The population of miners migrated to other mining towns.  My apas family moved to Etzatlan, but apa left for Baja California, then eventually crossed the border into America, in search of the American Dream.

Courting Days

It was around 1949 and my apa went  to visit his mother and family in Etzatlan, by this time his father had died of lung disease due to his years of mining. My apa arrived during Las Fiestas Patronales y La Fiesta del Señor. These are large religious ceremonies and parties centered in the town square which continue to be a central part of Mexican culture. My apa, fresh from El Norte, sported his Levi jeans, snap up button cowboy shirt, boots and cowboy hat, his little sisters thought he was muy Americano y bien guapo. He went to the town square where the festivities were. Families enjoyed the music and delicious food from the vendors while the senoritas coquettishly walked around the outer edge of the square. The custom was that the single young ladies would walk while single young men watched for an opportunity to engage the girl he liked. When he caught her attention he’d hand her a flower and if she accepted it, they could talk and enjoy each other’s company in view of her parents or family. 

Y asi paso, as the señoritas passed by, mi apa waited for his chance to talk to Chuy as her family called her. He caught her eye, and ama sweetly  accepted the flower. It was a nice evening of walking and talking.

Apa: I thought it was a done deal. She liked me, I liked her and from that point on she was my undeclared girlfriend. Pero no fue asi. 

Heavy sigh, solo me imagino all the dreamy thoughts mi ama must have had as this handsome guy looked at her and wanted to talk. And their conversation! Did they talk about America? Maybe he threw in some English words as they chatted. And! did the other girls notice them, I mean, she had the attention of the most handsome guy at the fiesta. 

Dad hadn’t reckoned on her older brother, Chino (christened with that nickname because he had a head full of tight curly hair) being such an intense chaperon and protector. Her brother wanted to make sure that the cuate fresh from El Norte wasn’t going to just take advantage of his youngest sister.Things slowed down, under Chino’s watchful eye their relationship blossomed and they entered a more formal courtship. Mi apa declared his good intentions. Derepente they were talking about love and marriage and meeting her mother, it was serious now. Pero meeting my abuela Ramona was like running through a gauntlet. Señora Ramona Flores was disabled and couldn’t walk, but that didn’t diminish her intimidating strength. Mi apa respectfully met his future mother in law and endured her dismissive attitude toward him. Apa simply said, “she was not nice to me.” She must have been afraid and angry and vented it by making the wedding planning muy incómodo. Her youngest daughter wanted to be married and leave her for him! Y, to make matters worse! Her beau might take her away to America, and she might not ever see her hija again. This made my mother quite nervous, maybe his mother would do the same to her? Getting married was going to be an uphill climb. Pero gracias a Dios mi apa didn’t give up, instead he enlisted his mothers help to aid him with the delicate details of chaperoning and shopping. He forged on. Like every wedding, there are blunders made and dad made one, quizas dos. Pero, he only spoke about this one.

Apa: I was back from America and had more than enough money. I rented a house, bought furniture and paid for our wedding.

It seems that he was very organized, taking Chuy and his mother to Guadalajara to buy her wedding dress. Luego, he must have  thought that he was helping when he picked out and bought his bride’s wedding shoes! I laughed at the way he simply said “She didn’t like them.” 

The Wedding:

My apa was notorious for leaving out those important details when he told his stories.  I don’t know if he didn’t plan for a photographer, forgot about a photographer or maybe he just couldn’t afford one, pero the couple had no wedding pictures! Asking my father to describe the day or what they looked like on their wedding day did not help. I felt like he painted a word picture of stick figures! While he assured me that she was “muy guapa” . I wanted to see more.

Gracias a Dios, that my apa remembered his wedding week and shared the itinerary of their wedding day: ceremony, honeymoon and wedding reception, por supuesto, sin muchos detalles.

They were married at 6 am! Asi es, it was the slot the priest made available after the hard time my abuela gave him, he almost didn’t want to marry them because she had been so rude to him. It was a very quick ceremony because then they caught the 7am train to Guadalajara Jalisco. Traditional Mexican weddings have many rituals and beautiful rites, but I am guessing that my parents  solemnly made their vows, prayed and rushed to the train station. Dad said that the honeymoon was a short trip which he said consisted of sight seeing until the money ran out, then back to Etzatlan. De veras?  I wish I had more details…Did they go to a nice hotel? What did they see in the big city of Guadalajara? Were there any public displays of affection? How did my ama feel?

When they got home, they were received with a wedding celebration that their padrinos had planned and hosted.

My abuela, Ramona, was not transitioning well with this huge change in her life. She had always had to survive in life, (Mi abuela Ramona is for a separate blog post) She learned to ignore pain and loss by closing love out. She didn’t know how to be vulnerable and just love her youngest daughter. Apa said that days after the celebration they went to visit his mother in law. Ahora si, my abuela had no choice but to acknowledge their union in marriage. Unfortunately sometimes, in our hurt, we speak words that hurt, como dicen por hay “hurt people, hurt people” and so it was for my ama, sweet new bride that she felt the stinging words her mother spoke about her. “Keep an eye on that girl, she’s a stubborn one…”Apa said she cried all night. 

With the wedding week over Mr. and Mrs. Manuel Zepeda began their marriage journey in the small town of Etzatlan where they had 3 boys.Then the growing family fanned the fuel of the “American Dream” so my apa took his family to Mexicali, Baja California, and settled in that border city for more than 10 years, and had 4 more kids. Then their final stop was into the Imperial Valley, where 2 more kids were born to them, that would be me and my hermanito. 

They were married  for 39 years, a love story of perseverance and fruitfulness. 

I’ve been married for 35 years. I know that a couple will experience every kind of love  in marriage and family, if they’re invested. Getting married can be as difficult as we make it and maybe so is staying married with contentment? Although mi apa didn’t give me any of the mushy details, I know they were there, starting with the “the first look.”  I’m so thankful that my parents kept their hand on the plow, with almost 4 decades of commitment they believed in marriage and family. Le doy gracias a Dios, that my apa shared his love story with me and I shared it with my sis and family. Te animo, get ready for Valentines Day. Love is an action word, so  I’m going to enjoy my amor, the love story we share and all the little amores God has given us through the years. 

My Busy Christmas Season

I love Christmas time. It’s sentimental, it’s fun and cozy and despite the crazy busyness, it truly is a wonderful time of the year. Todo el mundo esta bien ocupado right? Then Christmas time comes around. There’s a whole lot on my list to do just for Christmas and I wish I could say that I’ve got a nice orderly check off list and plan, pero, I don’t. In my heart and in my mind I know the things I must include in my Christmas season and as the days get closer and closer to Christmas, I “do the next thing” on the list. 

Here are some of the things I do at Christmas time

Decorating after Thanksgiving- Somehow it became the unspoken rule that we had to get the Christmas decorations out immediately following Thanksgiving day. Our tradition goes like this: Ben pulls out the decorations. I empty my living room and kitchen of regular “decor” to make room for Christmas nativities, snow globes, angels, snowmen, stockings and anything else I’ve collected through the years. Hijole! 35 years of Christmas collecting going on in this house! Aveces, things do get hung up. Este año, I didn’t put up my apas christmas stocking, I really did feel that change. Someone asked why I didn’t do it and I didn’t have an answer, pero ahora, I know that I didn’t want to see my apas stocking empty on Christmas day. I wonder if there are Christmas stockings in heaven? Then whichever of the kids are around helps me spread the Christmas cheer throughout my two front rooms and my middle child, Emery goes through the room and “adjusts” everything to perfect Christmas symmetry. Mi hija Daniella enjoyed going behind him this year and purposely unbalancing things and waited for his reaction as his eyes caught the infractions.  When all was said and done, my house was cozy and festive. 

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Getting our Christmas Tree is also a very important part of Christmas, pero this year was tinged with bittersweetness. Ben and I went back to our early Christmas days when it was just Ben & Rosie, no kids to help with the delicate matter of right height and good shape. Y sabes que? Ben and I did a good job choosing a nice tree.

Luego, with my impromptu pics, I create my Christmas card, place my order and make my mailing list.  Ben’s job is to hand the cards to our church family. After this, I squeeze in everything else, my December days fill up quickly.

Baking bread is what my mother inlaw taught me and I love to share my loaves at Christmas time, it’s something I do throughout the season.This year I enjoyed a bread baking day with my sweet Cassi girl, she’s my sobrina and I loved my day well spent with her.  Baking with my grandkids is just for one day at Christmas time and I still need to squeeze in that day. It’s just one day, pero honestamente, it will require a good night’s rest, porque cutting Christmas cookies with 8 grandchildren requires super strength, just writing about it made my heart pace increase.

I’ve set my date with my cuñada Sandra for our annual tamalada. Christmas without a tamalada is a pretty serious loss for this Mexican American girl. Last year, we dropped the ball and didn’t gather for the hard working tamal making day, and I was sorry. Tamales, remind me of my childhood Christmas’ and evoke the vision of my ama working hard to make tamales for her family. Don’t get me wrong, I did receive yummy tamales from Sandra and other tamaleras but it wasn’t the same, I didn’t help to make them.  I’m so thankful for this tradition I have with my sister inlaw.

Every year we enjoy Our church’s Christmas plays, the kids declaring the message of the Gospel, bloopers and all are quite delightful. Pero este año, it’s extra special because mi hijo is the director and my granddaughters are in it! Uyuyui! The Little Prince at the Potter’s House Christian Church 3520 Mt. Acadia Blvd. San Diego, CA 92111. If you’re in San Diego, you are welcome to come and see it live, performances are Sunday evening at 6pm on December 17 and 24.

The ladies at my church gather every year for our Christmas ornament exchange. Lots of fun, fellowship and competition. We’re all aiming to get our hands on the best ornament. Y por supuesto, everyone will want the one I bring. 

Our annual Scrooge family Dinner is our coveted time with the Alsobrook family, our longtime dear friends, it’s right around the corner.This year we are having a breakfast dinner, Bens delicious sourdough pancakes will be the main event on the feast table, of course I’m going to spice it up with some chilaquiles. This is a humble but delicious Mexican dish made with fried tortillas and a red salsa that my ama made for breakfast, served with frijolitos and fried eggs. Yum! (I’ll share my recipe on another blog)  Our Scrooge night also involves a white elephant gift exchange. The rules for the gifts we bring to the table are: no gifts over $5, used, and still useful gifts are very welcomed. We do have to warn the little children that if they are participating, the gifts are very thoughtfully “Scroogy” or “Codoish/Stingy.” Everyone has a good time getting creative y por supuesto, everyone breaks the rules!

Through all my activities, I’m squeezing in shopping. I’m still pretty old school so I actually drive to the stores and shop, hijole! I’m so old fashioned. I guess I shouldn’t be complaining about the crowded stores or long lines, verdad? Pero, “going” shopping is part of the Christmas tradition.

It is my hope and prayer that all people everywhere, especially my loved ones, would enjoy Christ all year round, it truly does make all the difference for a “whole” life. Christmas time is yet another opportunity to be blessed and filled, I hope you are swooping up on that chance of a lifetime, I did when I was 18 and I am blessed!  Que Dios los bendiga and may he make your Christmas merry and bright with his spotlight. 

A Celebration Of Life

November 17th is my mothers birthdate, she would have been 99 years old here on earth. Hijole! When she left her place here on earth 34 years ago,  she left everything behind including the weight of her 65 years. I wonder what she looks like at 99 now? 🙂 God’s pure beauty, incorruptible bodies, That’s wonderful to know, because here on earth mi madrecita suffered in her body quite a bit. Anyways, Como les he dicho, I love celebrating birthdays and although my ama isn’t present with me, us, her memory lives here with us.Today I celebrate her life with us.

My niece Cassi, loves to hear stories about “the ölden days”  as in my childhood! She enjoys hearing  “Tata” stories”, she loved her grandpa. Pero creo que she feels like maybe things are a bit unbalanced as far as the amount of history I share with her regarding my parents. She wants to hear more about her grandmother. She forgets that I had an extra 31 years with her tata, my apa. Pero, since it was my amas birthday yesterday I’m celebrating with Cassi and my sister Marina and remembering my ama. I have to say though that it’s going to be a celebration of small morsels, just a few memories and facts. Es que, either my ama rarely spoke about her childhood and love story or I was “bien ocupada” with playing that I wasn’t paying attention. Aun asi, I’m glad to remember mi ama, Maria de Jesus Flores Zepeda, aka Doña Chuy. 

I love it that there are droplets of my ama in her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. 

Her first born Angél resembles our mother with her same piercing dark brown and round eyes, her full mouth and cushy lips. He’s got her nicely shaped eyebrows. All my brothers boys got those nicely shaped eyebrows, without the assistance of brow pencils, or shaping.

Her first born daughter, mi hermana Lupe, got my mothers chubby nose and lips. Nariz Chata, it wasn’t flat or wide, but each side of her nose was well curved, with round nostrils, that became perfectly round when she was mad and they flared, cuidate!  Both Lupe and mom had cushy lips, but Lupe tended to color her lips in various shades of red and that defined the peaks on her lip line. My ama didn’t wear lipstick or makeup of any kind.

I want to comfort myself and say that I too inherited some of her physical traits. Pero, I think that what I did get from my ama was her vocal chords. Asi es, I have the clear memory and can almost still  hear her calling me in the late afternoons when I wasn’t home from playing and it was getting late. She’d walk out to the backyard where the clothesline was. “ROSALBA” She waited for me to come, but I also usually waited for her  pitch and tone to change.  “ROSAALBA” It was a bit more drawn out, I held out longer. “ROSAAALLBAAA” Ya mero, It was louder, longer and it carried farther out, few more seconds… ROSALBA!! Then I would come rushing to her “mande ama?” As if I had just heard her and as if I didn’t know what she wanted. At this point, her brows were knit together and her nostrils round. If I would have waited any longer, she would have to bring in the big guns; my apa. Hijole! Pues, I’ve got that capacity, I can be heard down the street and around the corner when needed. 

Her granddaughter Nikki, my niece, is a mini Doña Chuy. Piercing round eyes, the same nose and those full lips. Amongst la familia Zepeda we call it a “trompa,” lips that are always puckering. This trompa has been handed down to several of her grandkids and even great grandkids, I love that trompa!

Her Granddaughter Cassi, has splashes of my mother throughout her features, and some of her personality traits. Ready to do what she had to to take care of her kids. Y! she carries her first name, Maria, like a true Mexicana.

My son Jonathan didn’t receive any of my ama’s physical attributes,  but he has her contagious laughter that begins in the gut and travels up and bursts out in carcajadas, that laugh out loud infectious laughter. 

My grandson Uriah, who also has the trompa, has inherited the grumpy gene. After his nap, long or short, he will be a porcupine, if you get near him before he’s ready, you will be pricked by his grumpiness.  Mi ama, raised 8 kids and helped with the nearest 6 grandchildren, there was rarely a time for a nap for her. Pero! If she miraculously squeezed one in, hijole! Ama had to ease back into her day, and you’d better not rush her. 

Every once in a while, I see my ama in me or in the kids or in situations and it stops me. I enjoy talking to my sister about my ama, she was probably the closest daughter to her and has some sweet and bittersweet memories que comparte conmigo, and I’m so grateful for them.

As a young girl, in my teenage funk, I wasn’t very grateful for my ama, and I am sorry for that. My ama loved me and rejected my bad attitudes and checked the nasty ones, gracias a Dios. Although she has been gone for most of my adult life, we did experience a few beautiful moments together. I don’t want to remember the heart-rending ones, but I do. I’ll share the sweet ones today.

Un dia, when I was just a brand new Born Again christian, and she was in severe pain, she let me pray for her. Together we experienced a miracle as God healed her. I was just as amazed as her, all we could do was thank God together.

On the day she met my gringo, which was a scary day for all of us; Ben and I and my parents. My mother quietly said to me, “le gusto mi posole, I think I’m going to like him” You see, refusing to eat what a Mexican mama has offered is an offense that only Dios can repair. Ya te imaginas how happy I was to see my gringo gobbling up her pozole and accepting a second serving. My ama embraced my Cold Blooded Englishman and our mixed marriage.  Hospitalization kept her from going to my wedding ceremony, so my new husband brought his bride to her, and there at her hospital bedside she blessed our union. 

Soon after, when she laid on a hospital bed, feeling the despair that comes from illness, I asked her if she wanted to pray. My heartbroken and fatigued ama transparently opened her heart. Her fears and worries came tumbling out and we cried and we prayed together. 

My apa took her to my newly wed home. There in my little apartment I served my mother some caldo de res, beef soup. She had been craving this dish, her hospital food and diet was very strict and she yearned for some comfort food. I’m sure I didn’t make it so delicious like her,  but she seemed to enjoy it. It was the only time I got to cook for my ama as a wife. 

I miss her and I’m sorry that we didn’t get to share more life here on earth. I don’t get to show her all that Gods done, maybe she’s seeing it while she’s in heaven? But there’s something about saying “Mire Ama, mire lo que hizo mi hijo” Every mother loves to show off her kid. Or “Si Ama, ella es mi hija, que bonita verdad?” Every mom knows her daughter is the most beautiful en todo el mundo. If she doesn’t know about my little brother, Cassi’s dad, I would say “Mire ama, ya se compuso el Chicha.” She always worried that his troublemaking ways would not change, but God has helped him. I used to love telling my apa that he was doing well now and so I hope he filled her in when he got to heaven. 

My ama had her story, and although I’m hesitant to say it again, I will.  I’m hoping, praying for the ability to share their history.  I am working on my dads stories, ya se, it’s taking way too long, I do have to shake off those nagging distractions of “I can’t.”  

Maria de Jesus Flores Zepeda, was raised in Jalisco in a town called Etzatlan, she was not far from where my apa grew up in El Amparo. Just writing that will get Cassi dreaming of a love story. Y pues they did have their love story and Cassi, I have some sweet morsels to share about it…on another occasion.
Ama, Feliz cumpleaños, I’m sure it was a beautiful day. I miss you and so does Marina and Cassi, she longs to know you. Hopefully, you’ll know how much I appreciate you and I know that you would have enjoyed my family. One day we’ll have a good ole fashion celebration of life, a family reunion, estilo Mexicano!.

New Hampshire In The Fall

Going away for a season in my world meant leaving our home for seasonal work. For me, it was a fun time since I was too young to understand that picking and packing fruit was work, hard work for my parents and older siblings. In Ben’s world, going away for the summer meant going to the old family home for clean air and peace. Ben talks about riding his bike down the open country roads to Thorndike pond, an exclusive place for members only, “uy yu yui” then he would Spend the day swimming and sunbathing. Hijole! The dream of growing boys. Pero, every summer comes to an end and the old house sleeps for the winter.

The date for closing up the Manse for the winter is always set in the fall y pues, I’ve always wanted to be a part of that Greene/Torrey family tradition and I hear New Hampshire foliage is muy bonito! Gracias a Dios, my flaco was able to make it happen. We called our trip to New Hampshire in the fall our 35 year anniversary treat. Dicen por hay that after 35 years of marriage, a  couple has learned true strength and endurance, entonces, I was ready to handle the cold and Manse closing. How did a house get prepped for winter anyway?  My Flaco took his Cali girl out of her comfort zone, I mean, we’re talking bien frio, like high 40s in the wee hours, brrr!  

We chose to stay in the Manse, and our New England family was surprised. Would Rosie be ok?  Bens brother left us extra sleeping bags, just in case. We arrived very late that first night and had to face upstairs where the bedrooms are. Our sister in law got the Blue Room ready. Walking into the house was dark and icy, and as we climbed the stairs, it was colder with every step. The Blue Room wrappred us up in its cold. Hijole! Maybe we should go back to the car where the heater was quick and easy to use. Would it be worth it to put on pajamas? Expose my skin to the frozen garments in my suitcase and risk frostbite? Thank goodness I learned the trick of layering your clothing. As fast as my frozen bones and muscles could move, I layered on long johns, pajamas and my coat  then hopped into the frozen bed. Yikes! Ben assured me that the icy blankets would warm up quickly, Deveras? I was frozen. My Cold Blooded Englishman and I over layered ourselves and buried under a mountain of blankets, I felt like Buck in Call of The Wild  who buried himself in a blanket of snow to keep warm. My last thought as I was drifting off to sleep was “I hope I don’t have to go to the bathroom”

For heating we had the option of using the wood stove in the kitchen, but that was a fail. No se lo que paso, pero Benjamin smoked us out of the room, the little warmth we had fled when we opened the window to get rid of the smoke. Luego, the next day he tried the small fireplace in the living room and I almost froze to death! I stiffly ran to the kitchen to turn on the electric oven, ya se ya se, an electric oven in the old Manse? There I defrosted. 

Finalmente, we got it right. He used the large fireplace in the dining room, with the original cooking pots still hanging on the crane. That was our cozy place, Ben just had to make sure he was feeding that fire. Bien calientitos, we relaxed by the fire, doing our morning reading, meditating on the benefits that God gives us. Bien agusto. There by that warm fire I decided I could enjoy New Hampshire in the fall.

 My cuñado was impressed by us Californians, after so many years in warm weather, my New England husband has acclimated to sunny San Diego.  Pero I have to say that I expected it to be much colder, of course they all were saying that we were experiencing nice warm weather. Qué warm weather ni que nada! I was facing the cold like the strong hot blooded latina woman that I am, fiercely!

Seven beautiful but cold days in the New Hampshire foliage, I was glad to be part of the 2023 closing crew this year. I was expecting some sort of “extra measures” to prepare the house for the winter. I read somewhere that old sinks had to be preserved with grease and I imagined that to be a dirty  job. Who did that job? Pero, the big concerns are Gods creatures making themselves at home for the winter and the water pipes. I was surprised and relieved at the “regular chores” on the list. The men all worked outside in the cold. My Benjamin the painter, left his painting work clothes at home, that was a mistake because the work must go on. There were several things accomplished on the to do list, yardwork, painting and cleaning. Inside we were intentional with our peppermint oil strategy to keep the rodents away. Peppermint sachets were placed throughout the freshly cleaned drawers of that huge house. Inside we talked and worked and that kept us warm. The outdoor work crew just kept moving. Usually the New England residents try to go for closing since most everyone else is too far away. I admire and  appreciate their willingness to maintain this family legacy alive. The core group that goes has hope and vision for future family memories in the old Manse, and hope for our children to be excited about the Greene/Torrey family heritage.

New England in the fall, Closing of the Manse and family time were all in the mix for a beautiful anniversary trip. During our lunch break, I added to the potluck meal, tortilla chicken soup, my Greene/Torrey side always appreciates my contributions, y pues that always encourages me to share the wealth of my Mexican roots. Cousin Dave said “We’ve got to make it a tradition to have the San Diego Greenes at closing”. I smiled, Vamos a ver.

Le doy gracias a Dios, for this wonderful blessing. I had a nice “empty nesting” week with my Benjamin as we enjoyed the New England way of living this fall. Beautiful New Hampshire in the fall was brilliant and the fireplace warmed me up. Que Dios los bendiga.

How We Jump Into The Holiday Season

Seasons In San Diego

 San Diego is not a four season city, but we are technically in fall now. Except for my niece Cita who feels heavily the 100 degrees of summer heat that sweeps through the city of La Mesa, a suburb of San Diego, the  seasons usually are very subtle in their presence. Pero, As soon as September shows up, we all “feel” the spirit of fall in the air. The weather cools and we shift gears, the holidays are coming soon. Since we don’t get the natural brilliant colors of my Cold Blooded Englishman’s home state of New Hampshire we make do by fashionably displaying warm colors in our clothing and decor. Para mi, September ushers in the warm flavors of cinnamon, cloves, ginger  and chocolate. My favorites are Chocolate Abuelita and Pumpkin Spice Lattes. September is also the kick off to our holiday festivities. Every week of the entire month has a celebration day. Y yo pues, I am not gonna lie, I complain about the crazy busyness, pero me encanta! Special occasions are celebrated, simply or with pomp, y los Greenes, we jump in muy exageradamente and rejoice at God’s blessings and upcoming holidays. Here’s how we jumped into the holidays this year.

A nice Labor Day picnic at Tidelines Park in Coronado closes the summer days. Our fellowship of churches in the county of San Diego gather and we enjoy family, friends, and good food todo el dia! Our “day off” for rest from work, requires a second day off to recover from all day picnicking. Pero, que siga la pachanga! The show must go on, after this, we are at birthday parties every week of September. In my “abuela mode” I’m starting to feel it, but I don’t want to miss out, so I’m just a bit slower, and leave earlier. I do thank God for my life and all of mis amores. 

Mi gran-sobrina, Camilla is first in line now. She kicks off September birthdays in the family. She is 3 but has the attitude of a 15 year old or a 50 year old. Perhaps hormones have not begun to work overtime in her, but she certainly is a feisty little tot. She loves wearing blingy heels (ya se! Really, heels for tots?) which barely raises her height, but it puffs her up to 10 feet and she tries to impose her royalty on anyone who dares to challenge her. Her big sister Rosalie, challenges her regularly.

I want to say that I celebrate my Benjamin everyday, I should. I am grateful everyday for my gringo, my love. Every September, I like to make a big deal of his birthday, he being the Cold Blooded Englishman that he is, says it doesn’t matter if it’s a big deal or no deal, pero no es cierto, even he loves that attention. I’m thanking God always for the chance to Celebrate with my husband every year we get together. Getting older makes you acutely aware that “life is but a vapor, here today gone tomorrow.” (James 4:14)   I’m so grateful that our kids are always ready to show their father their love and respect, especially on his birthday. This year was kayaks and burgers. The grandkids all got to take a cruise with apa on the waters of Mission Bay Park, the birthday grandpa was quite tired after all that rowing. Y sabes que? Besides some wonderful gifts,  “he”  got so man coffee cards, that my takeaway is coffee dates with my flaco all through the holiday season. I do agree that “sharing is caring.” and Ben does care our coffee time.

I did, as I always do, stop for a day of remembrance. September is the month Patty, my sister and friend took up residence in Heaven and some days I just can’t wait to see her again. I put on my Patty perfume and remember the sweet things, laugh at the crazy times, and although regrets do make their way into my memorial day, I rejoice for the wonderful relationship I got to experience with Patty. Daniella remembers that her favorite drink was diet Pepsi, so she chugs one down once in a while. She misses her tia Patty too, I’m so glad they had a good fun loving relationship. 

Luego, right after that bittersweet time we pick up where we left off. My 2nd granddaughter Nevaeh gets the birthday celebration spotlight on her, all eyes on Ve. This year she’s nine. What’s so special about being 9? Solamente, that it’s the last single digit year she’ll ever experience! Almost closing of her first decade of living! This year, while all the “children” ate pizza, her daddy presented her with her own whole California Burrito! Talk about coming of age. Hijole! She handled it. 

Following our nieta Nevaehs celebration, was our 35th wedding anniversary. Thirty five years of marriage haven’t come without a huge cost, if that sounds bien dramatico, it’s because it is. A man and woman that are selfish and sin-filled pledge their lives to each other, til death do them part. In our case, it has been only by the grace of God that we have remained on course. Not just on course but very blessed. It’s important to do more than just remember the day you were married. Yo creo that a couple that celebrates with gratitude in their midst  will do well for themselves and their children. Y pues, le doy gracias a Dios for his protection, his guidance, his promptings, his incredible patience and all of his abundant benefits. We celebrated by spending our day cruising on bicycles around the city of Coronado ( Hijole! That was a big deal for me, getting my trasero comfortable on that cruiser was hard, ok, I wasn’t comfortable. Then we picnicked at the nice park, watching all the school age kids run around with ease and energy.  This abuela felt it for days afterwards, but I’m glad I was able to do it still. Otra ves, I say that as “we get older”,  we see life from a different lens, the extra bifocal of focused thankfulness. We were young and strong and gave ourselves to each other and now were older and holding on to strength and we still choose to give ourselves to each other.The birth of the San Diego Greenes, established September 1988 is a worthy celebration. 

September always closes with a nicely wrapped birthday celebration for our daughter Daniella. This year her tia Marina brought her a taco piñata! The last time she got a piñata she was 18! And I do remember those “adult kids” whacking that piñata. Asi es, every once in a while we cling to our childhood traditions, even when we are all grown up. She was excited, because that little taco was packed full of goodies. Since we didn’t have time for the tradition of breaking it, she lined up all the kids and shared her candy with them. She was showered with gifts and love, then we all caught our breath before entering into October. 

That’s what the start of the holidays looks like for us, September blessings, busy and bright. Gracias a Dios for the holidays, we always look forward to more celebrating. ¡Que Dios los bendiga!

Road Trip To New Hampshire

The Greenes and the Torreys share their ancestors’ old house. Every other year, 4 branches of the families divide the summer up and enjoy a time “ in residence” at the Manse. It was our chance to enjoy the old house in Jaffrey, New Hampshire, and we, Ben, Thomas, Emery and Monique and I planned to do just that. Thomas was counting the days and saving his money. Emery was excited to show and submerge his new wife into the Manse experience. Ben and I were looking forward to working on some of the countless projects that help keep the Manse in use. Luego, we were going to relax, read and rest, y por supuesto, we were going to enjoy Thorndike Pond and try to ignore the zancudos that loved our flesh.

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We planned and strategized on getting the most out of this trip. I wanted to visit our friends in Memphis and I wanted to check on other friends in Detroit, and with all these extra stops we settled on driving across the country. In all our planning and discussing our vacation, we regretted that not ALL of our kids were going. Daniella and the boys couldn’t come, pero what about Jonathan? Maybe he should try to go, it would be their last chance for a long while. Luego, the more we pondered and wondered at the idea, I loved it! Could the Manse handle our crazy family? How could we help make it happen? Finalmente we made a proposition that could work and get the rest of the San Diego Greenes to New Hampshire. What if we would bring our two older nietas on our road trip with us. Before we knew it, it was settled, Maricella and Nevaeh were going with us on our road trip. Hijole! What if they cried for their mother? What if they were scared? What if they hated it or worse what if they drove us crazy? Ni modo, it was set, we went from an “empty nest” trip to los abuelos con las nietas. 

The girls were excited for the road trip because they were going to be able to tell their tia Mel, who is just 2 years older than Mari, that they had been to more states than her in their worldly travels. Like a whirlwind on Monday morning, we swished about taking care of all the last minute details, in order to leave by 10am. Mari and Ve patiently waited for us, bueno, sometimes they anxiously asked “are we almost ready to go?” When we were eventually on I8 East to our first state; Arizona. 15 minutes into our trip, I was still trying to get situated with my pillows and “stuff” when de repente, a lil voice piped up from the back “D’ma are we almost in Arizona?” Hijole! It was going to be a longer trip than expected. Luego, we had to stop in El Centro, Ca. my birth home, because Nevaeh forgot to go potty before we left. Mas largo aun. Pero, no se preocupen, it turned out to be a beautiful trip. We enjoyed the beautiful desert scenes and greenery that came afterwards all along the way. Our nietas were excellent travel companions, the questions:  “are we almost there?” “What state are we in now D’pa? and “How many more  hours do we have to go?” were just enough to keep us on our toes. We have made this trip several times with our own children and I must admit that when you wear your “D’ma and D’pa hat the experience is less stressful. Jonathan, their dad says I have really gotten soft in my disciplinary ways. I guess he doesn’t realize that when you’re in grandparent mode disciplining is not necessarily in our priority, besides my nietas were absolute angels on the road. 

Every truck stop was a treat, the fast food meals were so much nicer with them, scenic stops were absolutely tolerated and needed. I can hear my kids saying, wow ma! We barely made any stops when we were kids and we NEVER got all those treats when we drove East. Pero, they just don’t understand that being D’ma and D’pa is a whole different level of parenting, in fact, it’s grand!

En Conclusion:

Gracias a Dios, He was with us all the way there and it was a wonderful trip. We captured several delightful memories, like meeting up with Elvis in Memphis, imaginate! Then in Ohio, we didn’t realize that the thunder was a warning that a downpour was coming, so we got caught and soaked in the rain. Y pues, even though Emery, our picture king was not with us, our cameras did manage to get some good shots.  We were all exhausted, pero gracias a Dios we were in beautiful New Hampshire, just being in that beautiful area brought rest and the swing in the barn called out to the girls at first daylight on our first day there. We enjoyed 2 full quiet days at the Manse before the entourage of the San Diego Greenes arrived, could it possibly survive us? We did warn Tio Sam that the house would be full. Right here I will give some unsolicited advice to the abuelos and abuelas out there: Make time and good memories with your grandkids, it’s good medicine for fighting off aging and stiffness. Que Dios los bendiga.

What’s Better Than Getting Saved? Staying Saved!

It’s a brand new year for me and today is my second day in it, 39 years I’ve been walking on His Narrow Path. Last year  was a hard year. “Stinkin thinkin” permeated whole days and on those days I cried too much. I wondered, did I remember my Born-Again birthday last year? Pero gracias a Dios that when I went back to the pages of my journal I found the page dated July 7 2022.  I did remember my special day! “May I never forget the good things He does for me” Psalms 103: 2

In my journals I am writer and editor, grammar rules and organization are cast out. 

It drips with dramatics, emotion and cheesiness, with that warning I’ll share another page of my journal with you. 

“Today is our day Lord 🙂 Is it ok to say it like that? It is the day I made a choice to accept your offer, the gift of salvation and offer of relationship. If someone would have told me “Ok from this day on your life will change and this will be your destiny: Marriage, 4 children, 8 grandchildren, life long friendships”, I would not have believed it. And although my heart is broken right now, I am thankful for the life I’ve had.

Today I read in a devotional that “adversity is a university”- like higher education.”

I won’t share anymore of that page, it’s enough to say that I have learned some valuable lessons in that school, lessons that keep me on the path Heavenward. 

What I will share is an enjoyable memory about the first few days walking with Jesus.I was giddy with love, I left my parents home starry eyed absolutely enjoying the warm fuzzy feelings I was experiencing. I was headed back to San Diego, a new woman with a new address. Asi es, I had to move off campus and my sister Marina and I had made the decision to be roommates for the new school year.  I was relieved, I couldn’t wait to tell Marina all about my weekend and see our new apartment. The complex was called Corinthian Apartments.

I got off that Greyhound bus and onto the city bus, which was a fairly new experience for me. I managed  to get to my new neighborhood, when I realized I didn’t have the address. Acuerdense, it was the age before cell phones.  There I stood on the street near SDSU looking like a lost student, although it wasn’t the school I attended. Gracias a Dios, that a lady driving by had pity on me and she asked if I was lost, so I explained that I was new to the area and I didn’t know my address, except for that the name of the apartments was a bible name. She said, “Oh, I know just where that’s at, it’s not far, do you want me to take you there? Hijole! A stranger, a white lady, looked nice enough, she didn’t look dangerous, so I accepted her help. (Warning: Do not do this at home.) I counted that as one of my first miracles in this new relationship with Jesus, maybe he was with you even outside of church on Sundays?

Luego, because of the affairs of life, that warm fuzzy feeling seemed to be getting covered up, wasn’t it supposed to last forever?  I needed to call the pastor in San Diego, I was encouraged to “call right away, connect with him, he’ll help you”  De veras? Pastor Buchholz had to be a white man with that name, and that made me nervous to call. I decided to wait until the weekend so I could see about going to church on Sunday, but I couldn’t wait, that would be 7 long days, so I called after work on a Tuesday. Just 2 days later I connected with my first pastor and his wife. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Kathy: Hello

Me: umm, hello, my name is Rosie, Pastor Struck gave me your number.  

Kathy: Oh yes, hi Rosie.

Me: I was wondering about church on Sunday? He said there were even church services on Wednesday?

Kathy: Yes, in fact we have a revival this week, we have church tonight, do you want to come? I can pick you up.

Me: oh? Is that a church service on a Tuesday?

Kathy: Yes, it’s an visiting preacher that is here all week, it’s a great time.

Me: Wow, church all week? I won’t be able to come though, I won’t get home until after 5pm. I won’t have time to change, and get ready, I’m wearing shorts.

Kathy: You can come as you are.

Me: (shocked, Que?!) Shorts to church?!

Kathy: really it’s ok, just come, you’ll be glad you did, it’s been a wonderful revival.

Me: (I was curious, I really wanted to go) I just got off work, I’ll call you when I get home, it’s a long bus ride.

Kathy: ok, where do you live?

I gave her my address, she settled the matter.

Kathy: You don’t live far from us at all, I’ll pick you up at 6 Rosie, I can’t wait to meet you.

Things happened so fast, I barely had time to let my sis know that I was going to church with a lady from “Patty’s church.” Marina  worried. Who was this lady? Pero I was running out to meet Kathy.

Kathy pulled up in her huge mustard color Impala, with 3 little kids in the backseat, one was a baby. I opened the door and when I saw the kids I hesitated.

Me: Kathy?

Shannon: (the oldest little girl) Guess what? My moms having a baby!

Kathy: (smiled sheepishly) Hi, Shannon.

Me: Congratulations? It’s good news right?

Kathy: (she smiled) Yes, thank you

And the rest of the ride to church 5 year old Shannon filled me in on all the important stuff about my new pastor and his family.

I’ve been in my church, the Potter’s House Christian Church here in San Diego since the first week I was saved that summer in 1984 and have been,doing what we do, bringing the Good News of the Gospel to everyone.